| ok. Well here goes my first long post in a while... I actually should be studying... but i had to poop... so I figured, "Why not make good use of my time?" Well Lucky for you, here I am. I am multitasking to the fullest. The past few months have been great. Mostly due to my wonderful girlfriend who i adore. She manages to make me smile even when I am not... which is rare of course. We fight over stupid things for about 2 minutes just to realize we really dont care. and she leaves me little post its everywhere. it's quit nice. I'm doing the school thing which is proving to be fairly simple. I dont do a lot of work and my grades suffer for it sadly... I had a polysci exam friday and i bought the book thursday... i managed an 86 which isn't GOOD, but it isn't bad. the average was 77 and the prof promises no C's. I have an injured shoulder from tennis adn it hurts. I guess for something thoughtful... hmm...
Back when i was younger... up till just recently.I didn't want to do anything well... Everyone else knew i could. I knew i could. I was blinded by a fear of failure. No matter how good everything went, I was still afraid of falling short. I felt that if i really tried my hardest adn still failed to succeed, My world would be over. I would half ass things just to say, "oh well... i bet if i tried harder, i coulda done a lot better." This kept me feeling like a winner... a half assing, just to get by, winner. and it worked for me. But lately. I've realized it. Brian... ur a fucking idiot. But hey it happens. It's about time i stepped it up and really proved my myself what i can and cannot do. I can't eat like takeru kobeyashi... or whatever his name is. I can't life 500 lbs with my birdchest. but i do know i'm good at making people laugh and downing a case of beer in an hour. I do know that I make my girlfriend happy when she's down. And I do know i can learn 4 chapters in an hour. But alas... when was the last time i pushed myself?? hmmm... well... I have inspiration... i actually found it a good 4 months ago.
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| man, it really does feel good to finally be back to what i'm used to... it's taken be over a year to really get on my feet... but here I am...time to kick some life ass.
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